This Winter’s Feels

This winter feels different to me.

I do acknowledge (my word of the year BTW) that these past 2 years have been “the gap.”  The time that will be the delineation of the “before” and “after” times. I felt into that when covid first hit, that things would never be the same, as I recall others around me saying that too.

That it is not necessarily a bad thing, but for the purposes of this blog it shall not be labeled as either bad or good. It just IS.

This time period, starting I suppose appropriately with the numbers that equate to “perfect” vision, has made it glaringly apparent that finding our path and our truth in this life will not be a challenge-less path.

It has been a time of many things: devastating loss, grieving over what once was, being faced with the acceptance of that which is not like us, having our beliefs be forced to the surface, relationship shifts, work rhythm re-calibrations, being made aware of the shadow of the collective and an invitation for inner work at the deepest level.

Accepting that invitation is not for the faint of heart.

And perhaps not one accepted by everyone. But it is a grand energetic invitation none the less.

Deciding unequivocally what one stands for, where one’s inner truth lies, and how comfortable one is living into their authenticity on a daily basis are all part of this process. Acknowledging who and what are truly good for us personally asks on a deep level that we make change.

Change is uncomfortable. But change births possibility.

Possibility can actually be scary. Possibility can ask us to be brave as we step into the new. To allow life to move through us in flow instead of trying to control what in reality is uncontrollable. Embracing that the control really lies within,  in the form of conscious  response,  carries responsibility to self. And that is the job we have often ascribed to  forces outside of our self. To our friends and lovers and bosses and doctors and gurus and teachers and family.

And while all of those can certainly be of support to us, without that decision to go within, we do not take full responsibility for all that we came here for.

What that looks like is different for everyone.

It is my belief that we all came here to have our own experience, and within the collective our personal experience (the micro)  helps it (the macro) to grow and expand.

But the journey IS within. And this winter I am feeling into the winter energy like never before. I am embracing the quiet time inside, on my own, almost like gifts of gold. After such heavy and harried times as of late taking time to rest, be still, question and contemplate, this winter feels different.

It feels a bit like the beginning of the “after.” And I know that this present space, despite what still looks chaotic on the outside, is the clearest NOW that I have ever felt. I don’t totally understand that, when the world seems to be such a mess, but I do know this winter feels different. Maybe because after all of the raw contemplation, the connection to self is different than ever before. And the gift of present moment is clearly not to be taken for granted.

So I invite you to check in with yourself as well.

Notice what you feel. Commit to not shying away from what is within. There are gifts there you may have never known, that are waiting patiently to meet you. And may this winter will feel different to you too.

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