The Empath’s Essential Practice of Discernment

One of the things I love most about the journey of self inquiry and the understanding of being an empath is the ability to connect with what is my own energy and what is someone else’s. This is an ESSENTIAL place of discernment for empaths.

Carrying What’s In The Collective

When we do not understand what is our own and what is someone else’s, not only are we unable to release what is not ours, but the weight of ALL of that external energy can get heavy enough to cause anxiety, depression and self loathing.

To go through our days without this understanding, that not everything we are feeling is coming from the internal, is to allow the external to have its way with us. And we can make incorrect assumptions that all we feel is coming from within, and then judge ourselves for all of the “crazy” stuff we feel.

I can recall instances when I was younger being in a perfectly good mood, happy, nothing major bothering me, and then finding myself becoming cranky and annoyed out of nowhere. And what I didn’t know then was that this “moodiness” was actually energy from others that my very sensitive system was picking up on.

Unbeknownst to me, this would cause me to question and judge myself for getting in these cranky moods. And I would then label myself as someone who deals with melancholy, and in essence be riding the tide of the collective energy of those around me.

This is not to say that we don’t have genuine mood shifts. But when there is not reason for us to feel a certain type of way as a result of something  going on in our lives, we can begin to mindfully question if what we are feeling within is in fact our own or someone else’s.

The Need For Practice

And the more we practice this the better we get. As humans we tend to learn about something and then expect we should be able to immediately execute. This is not necessarily a helpful belief. Shifting takes time. Learning ourselves takes time. Understanding what it means to be empathic takes time. And truly learning how to honor your own sensitivity takes time.

That honoring comes from accepting that as a highly sensitive person and perhaps an empath you will process things more intensely than 80% of the population. Some can feel like that’s a curse, but I suggest looking at it as a super power. And like anything super powerful, there comes a learning curve.

So the more we can ask ourselves if what is going on is ours when emotional and/or sensory overload takes place, and practice leaving space for an answer, the better we get at finding clarity around the answer. And then from that place we can consciously intend that anything that is not our own be released. Sounds so simple, and it is, but we are very used to complicating things, and sometimes the journey is feeling back into simplicity.

And the better we get at this, the more we can feel into the super power. The deeper we know ourselves the more we can detect the subtle differences in our own energy when we are around others. It becomes a fascinating journey learning about how our energy feels around certain people. We become more adept at making relationship choices with those who are most in alignment with the intentions in our own energy.

True Understanding

Understanding this mechanism within allows us to consciously let go of all of this “stuff” we tend to carry around that is not ours. And trust me, if you are an empath you are absolutely carrying around stuff that is not your own. And as a quick side bar, it is not your job to carry other people’s stuff. We do others a disservice to their own soul journey when we try to do that.

Empaths are DEEPLY feeling people, so the love and care is immense, and that will not change simply because you are practicing self care and discernment around what is your own or not. In fact, when your energy is clearer and in its highest vibration you will do more for those that you love than if your energy was weighted down with things that are not your own.

It can be a tough shift for empaths who are used to carrying the weight of the world, but your gift as an empath is to keep your light as bright as you possibly can, and that is how you change the world. It’s an inner journey, always.


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