Did you know that we have wounds on the inside of us too? Emotional wounds. And they need inner healing.
Perhaps that makes total sense and you know well that as humans we hurt on the inside too. But sometimes giving language to certain concepts can help us to become more aware and thus heal and move through them more efficiently.
The Core Wound
Many of us have what is called a core wound. It’s that one defining hurt that we carry with us through our lives that most of our self definitions stem from. It’s what’s really underneath the scab of why we feel we aren’t enough.
I’ve found in my work over the years that, for the most part, we all wrestle with the same demons. The majority of us have experienced feelings of not believing we are good enough or deserving enough of so many things in life….love, money, self worth.
And our core wound, which usually stems from a defining event in our childhood, becomes the catalyst for all kinds of belief systems (often very limiting beliefs) that we carry throughout our lives. Theses belief systems become what we measure our life experiences by.
Some core wounds might be feeling unlovable, less than, unworthy of life’s goodness, unforgivable, totally misunderstood or unwanted or like we don’t matter. Of course we may be able to relate to all of these feelings on some level, and we may even strongly identify with more than one. But upon a deep dive, we may recognize one of them as the pervasive underlying theme of how we live our lives.
Upon further examination
We may not know offhand what our core wound is because we have probably spent many years covering it up with band aids and salves. Not yet at the place on our life path to be ready to really face the wound and work to heal it.
Often we fear the pain of looking deeply within, not really realizing that the wounds are there whether we acknowledge them or not. And they that collectively affect our ENTIRE life journey. But if we decide to do the work to begin healing our inner wounds, what really happens is the doors open for a more more conscious, aware and fulfilling life experience.
The anticipation of the pain can sometimes be even greater than the pain. And the resistance of our own shadow side is what keeps the darkness growing. It’s the shining of the light within, through awareness, contemplation, self study, and sitting with ourselves and becoming a student of our own thinking that brings in that light.
It can be a slow process. Every layer does not need to be uncovered at once. We can simply start by embodying the intention of wanting to know ourselves on a deeper level. And also committing to love ourselves through that. Which may feel wonky to some people.
I can tell you with the most assuredness I have that you are worthy of love, but unless you believe that as well it can be a difficult step in the journey.
How we can begin inner healing
If you relate to that, I suggest just starting with allowance. Allowing yourself to be imperfect and in the process of journeying within, being gentle with yourself and honoring whatever you find. And allowing that you will have love in your heart. There is no logical sense in us loving others unconditionally, knowing that someone else isn’t perfect and having that be OK, and then not extending that same sentiment to ourselves.
So we can start there in the journey of peeling back the onion. We can work with a therapist or a coach or even a conscious friend, depending on what is most congruent with where we are on our paths. And from there we begin to look more deeply at what beliefs we are really carrying around about ourselves.
We don’t need to go right to the core wound. The beliefs we hold are offshoots of it that will eventually lead us to fully meeting ourselves when we are ready to heal. Healing is multilayered, multifaceted and NOT a linear process. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had coaching clients come to a session and tell me that they “have taken a step backwards.” And I love them right through that because it’s all part of the process!
I’ve been there, we’ve all been there, but we carry on and honor ourselves for just being there at all.
Coming face to face with our core wound can be very revealing. Life events and situations can then be viewed as a reflection of that wound. Then the knowing comes that as we heal and show up from the healed part of ourselves, we will begin to see differences around us reflecting that healing. What goes on around us is a mirror of our inner world.
And being able to heal false and limiting beliefs and ultimately our core wound leads us to the seat of our soul. The pure essence of who we truly are. My belief is that is a piece of our Creator. And that Creation itself is born out of love. And then we embark on a 3D experience of knowing and evolution and expansion that brings us back to the part of ourselves.
Know that you can journey within and know that you are healable. Setting intentions of desire for that knowing and that journey are the first steps. And honoring that we have shown up in life many times through our core wound. Desiring to know and heal that is the deep work that I believe we have come here to do.