I haven’t written about coaching in a long time. The actual practice of coaching. And as it is something I pretty much eat, sleep and breathe, I often find myself wondering not only how to raise awareness of how amazing it is, but also wondering what it is that keeps people from either getting a coach or at least learning more about what coaching can do. So I just want to share my 3 main thoughts as to what I think may stop people.
Number one is most likely money. We all worry about money. Most of us constantly feel like we don’t have enough of it. In fact we probably think about money much more than we even realize. So we decide that we don’t want to spend any money on ourselves. We neglect to place value on our own well being. We will invest in our body through clothes and exercise and healthy food. We will spend money on getting our nails and toes painted and our hair colored but we do not place importance on spending money on our spiritual well being. And by spiritual here I refer to our spirit – our mental and emotional health.
We fail to see that our inner growth, peace, expansion and balance actually affects our life 100 x more than what color is on our nails or how big our muscles are. And that part of us affects our relationships, our physical health, our work (our ability to MAKE money) and the way we parent. We don’t realize that all of these areas of our lives can experience beneficial change when we start to value our inner well being.
And the second part of the money equation is that most often we are focused on the lack of. Focusing on lack only adds fuel to creating more lack. When we stay focused on what we don’t have, we attract more of the same into our lives…more of what we don’t have! We stand in our own way of having more because our backs are turned away from that possibility and only focus on what it is we need more of (aka LACK)! Coaching is a powerful process that aids us in recognizing where our focus is and turning it onto things that feel better and enable us to attract more of what we DO want in our lives. And that includes money!!
The third point I always wonder about is how people think of coaches in terms of who they are as people. Do people think coaches live perfect lives doing everything the “right” way and thus feel almost inferior when their own lives are in such disarray? Because I can tell you first hand that that is not the case.
My life can be and has been in disarray. And the funny thing is as a coach you start beating yourself up about that, feeling like you are not qualified to coach. When really it’s that exact fact, the acceptance of my imperfections and the perseverance through hardships, that qualifies me to coach. I am not perfect. My life is messy sometimes. I have made bad decisions and I have hurt people. But I do not define myself by those things. I define myself by who I choose to be in this moment. And so I choose to open up my life and myself in order to help others. I stumble and fall sometimes but I get back up improved with even more to offer my clients.
I take the time to study human behavior and the ways to live a happy life. I put all of me into this study so that I can share what I learn.
I had a conversation with a friend the other day who felt there was no point in going to therapy over something he was going through if the therapist had not walked in his shoes. And while coaching is not therapy, I responded saying I don’t profess to know more than my clients nor to walk in anyone else’s shoes. But I can offer my perspective and that outside, non emotionally charged perspective can CHANGE things immensely.
So what qualifies me to coach is that I am just like everybody else. Insecure and unsure at times but wanting to be the best possible version of me. And that takes time, in fact the journey is on going. But I know how much better things look and feel from this place. And I want others to know and feel it as well. I want to know and experience myself fully and pass the impact that the joy of doing so has on to others. And to me, that is what my coaching does. And my hope and wish is that at some point many others will choose to go on the ride with me!
Or at least find a coach that truly resonates with you and with what you want to accomplish.
I truly believe the best wellness “product” we can invest in is OUR SPIRIT!!